Night Before Hannah Thoughts

This is Eric...

Well, tomorrow is the day. It is a little weird knowing for sure that the baby will come on a certain day. I was expecting "the call" while I was at work or "the shove" in the middle of the night. I was expecting a mad dash to get everything in order and then racing to the hospital escorted by the policeman who had pulled me over for speeding just minutes earlier. We had worried that we'd be in Walmart when Michelle's water broke (something I still don't understand) and we have stayed away from Tahlequah in case she went into labor so she could be close to our hospital. I won't have to keep the time between contractions, although I was ready for it...big time.

All that doesn't matter now. Hannah is coming tomorrow.

I'm not really writing this for the readers. I think I just need to put into words what I'm feeling and you all just happen to be lucky enough to read it.

I've convinced myself that I am calm, cool and with it (you thought I was gonna say collected didn't you). Truth is, I feel dizzy. It is hard to function at 100% when 50% of your thoughts are about a little girl in your wife's belly. A few people noticed this about me and asked how I was. I'm great. I don't feel worried or scared. I have a calm which is nice, but it is still hard to believe tomorrow is the day.

It's also funny to me how life events make me think about my parents. I wonder what it was like when they had Lori. I wonder if my dad felt the same way I do. I wonder how they got by without a warmer for their baby wipes or a modular travel system. I wonder what my dad thought the first time he held Lori. I wonder what his emotions were.

It also occurred to me that Michelle is a whole different level of nervous than I am. She has to really go through this. She has been growing this life inside of her and now she has to force it out. I saw the video of the event. It's going to hurt her and I won't be able to help (thanks Eve, but thank you more epidural). All I can do is hold her hand and understand that she doesn't mean the terrible things she's saying about me. Then, my real worries start when that new life comes out kicking and screaming and covered in a gelatinous ooze.

At home, instead of catering to Michelle's every whim, it's going to become detailed poopy journals and frozen milk stored in our freezer, stomach time, "blowouts", and no-sleep nights. I know that we are ready for this...I think. We have all of the supplies (which I'm sure will only last three days) and we have her room all ready. She is already spoiled and she hasn't been born yet.

If this doesn't make sense, then you understand how I feel. I have 13 million thoughts swimming in my head and 12,999,000 (give or take 1,000) of them are about Hannah. This post is just me letting some of them out. Funny thing is...it helps.